Regulating Your Nervous System

A practice card

Not always about calming down. Regulating your nervous system means matching the tool to the state you're actually in — sometimes that's settling down, sometimes it's coming back up.

When

When a calming technique doesn't seem to work, and the actual problem is that the body was already flat, not wound up.

What's actually happening

Nervous system states run in more than one direction: wound up and flooded is one end, flat and shut down is the other, and most regulation advice covers only the first. A body that's too low needs something more activating — brisk movement, bright light, upbeat sound — not another calming exercise. Regulating is less one technique than a habit of checking direction first, then picking the matching tool.

What to change

Before choosing a tool, ask whether the body feels wound up or flat — the two need opposite responses.

If the body is wound up, use a slow exhale, warmth, or stillness to bring the level back down.

If the body is flat or shut down, use brisk movement, bright light, or upbeat sound to bring energy back up.

Keep a short list of go-to tools for each direction, so the choice is already made before you need it.

Afterward, notice whether the state actually moved in the direction you were aiming for, and adjust which tool you reach for next.

Where to start

roughly placed · checking direction comes first

Pick one

Five at once is how these lists fail. Tap a number — the ones up and to the left give the most for the least.

What to expect

This isn't about staying calm — it's about being able to move either way as needed. Pick one direction you tend to get stuck in, practice the matching tool for two weeks, then notice whether you're catching the state sooner.

choose one, and the fortnight starts

This is a teaching, not treatment. If you’re struggling, a doctor or therapist can help. If you’re in danger right now, call your local emergency number or a crisis line (in the US, call or text 988).