Helpful Things to Say

A field guide

What to say to someone who's struggling, and what to say if you're worried about their safety.

What’s happening?

Someone tells you something painful and you want to respond You don't know what kind of help they actually want You're worried they might be in danger

1 of 3

When

Someone tells you something painful and you want to respond

Try saying

Instead of

Everything happens for a reason.

Because

Naming the truth of the moment feels more honest than a generic comfort, and it doesn't ask them to feel better yet.

2 of 3

When

You don't know what kind of help they actually want

Try saying

Instead of

Assuming they want advice when they just want company.

Because

Assuming what someone needs can miss the mark even with good intentions; asking hands the choice back to them.

3 of 3

When

You're worried they might be in danger

Try saying

Instead of

Waiting to see if it passes on its own.

Because

A moment of real risk needs more than kind words; saying it plainly and acting on it together is what actually helps.

Plain and true beats clever, every time.

If you're ever worried about someone's safety, say so plainly, and help them reach your local emergency number or a crisis line.

This is a teaching, not treatment. If you’re struggling, a doctor or therapist can help. If you’re in danger right now, call your local emergency number or a crisis line (in the US, call or text 988).